she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
