her facebook's as public as her vagina
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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