I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
