Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
