Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
