Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
