That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
