If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
