Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
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