Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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