some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
