I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Randomize
