what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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