omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
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