would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
