I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
