I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
