Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
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