Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
