he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
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