my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize
