Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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