Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
