1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
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