i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
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