he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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