I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
