I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
