i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
