Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
