what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
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