Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Randomize
