Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Randomize
