I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Randomize
