I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
