I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Randomize
