First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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