Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
