We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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