Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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