once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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