But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Randomize
