Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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