I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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