pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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