You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
