I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
