How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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