id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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