I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
